DEAR ABBY: Two and a half years ago, I bought a starter motorcycle and allowed someone I considered a good friend to ride it around the block.
She fell in love with it and expressed that she would love to have it. I made a deal with her that when I upgraded, I would sell her this bike.
A year later, I was able to buy the one I wanted. I found out what the trade-in value of my original bike would have been and agreed to sell it to my friend for that price. I then told her to pay me what she could, and I gave her the title.
I have not drawn up any deed of sale or contract. I realize now that this may have been naive on my part.
Shortly after taking possession, she had an accident and totaled the bike. Her insurance didn’t pay and she hired a lawyer, claiming it was the other person’s fault.
She didn’t pay a cent for the bike, or even acknowledge that she owed me anything for it.
I struggle with confrontation, so I haven’t said anything yet, but a year and a half later, I think the time has come. I know legally there’s not much I can do, but I’d like to say something to him.
How can I solve this problem without seeming difficult? We have grown apart but are still friendly.
— BIKER CHICK IN TEXAS
DEAR BIKER CHICK: Try this: “It’s been a year and a half since I sold you the bike. When do you plan to start paying me what we agreed? » This is a legitimate question.
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, “Kim”, for a year and a half. We are both in our 40s and very independent.
His mother struggles with our relationship because we are two women. She told Kim that our relationship was embarrassing for her. She didn’t know her daughter was a lesbian until we started seeing each other.
Kim’s mother said if I was a man she would be happy. She knows that I love her daughter and treat her well, but she can’t believe the fact that we are gay.
I don’t know what to do. Our relationship is stable and we are both happy, but it bothers us both.
I don’t want Kim to feel torn between her mother and me, especially since we’re discussing marriage. Is there anything I can do to ease the tension?
— SEARCHING FOR PEACE IN KENTUCKY
DEAR SEARCH: There’s not much you can (or should) do to alleviate Kim’s mother’s embarrassment.
Parents have all kinds of dreams and ambitions when it comes to their children, but in the final analysis, adult children must live their own lives as they see fit.
A long-standing trusted organization called PFLAG exists for the specific purpose of building bridges between LGBTQ people and their family members. You can find it at pflag.org.
However, until Kim’s mother is ready to seek help adjusting to reality, there is nothing you and Kim can do but let your happy life together be an example.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
