DEAR HARRIETTE:I’m really stressed and need some advice.
I’m a 21-year-old business student. I work part-time as a cashier. I struggle to balance work, classes, and studies, and I recently made a huge mistake: I cheated on an important exam.
My teacher found out and now I’m kicked out of class.
I’m really scared to tell my parents. They’ve always been very supportive and have high hopes for me, so I feel bad about it. I have to explain what happened and hope to get their support.
What is the best way to talk to them about this without just making excuses but being honest about the stress I am under?
— Dealing with the consequences
DEAR DEALING WITH CONSEQUENCES: Go see your parents. Tell them you are having difficulties and that you want to tell them what is happening.
Explain everything that happened, including cheating on the exam and its consequences.
I assume you will have to retake the course, which will cost you more. Talk to your parents about what it will take to get back on track and what support you hope to receive from them.
Express your remorse for putting yourself in this situation clearly. Promise not to cheat again and seek the academic support you need to continue your journey.
DEAR HARRIETTE:I have been dating my partner for over a year and we have a strong and supportive relationship.
On her birthday, she expressed her desire to take a gap year to travel and pursue her personal interests, which had been a long-held dream.
While I fully support his decision, I am concerned about the impact this extended separation may have on our relationship. We have always been close and the idea of being apart for an entire year is challenging for me. Additionally, my work responsibilities may prevent me from visiting him frequently during this time.
How can I best support his plans when my own concerns overshadow my thoughts? Can we maintain our connection and preserve our relationship during this time?
— Maintaining connection despite distance
DEAR MAINTAIN REMOTE CONNECTION:A year is a long time and it’s also a blink of an eye. You’ll probably feel the same way as time goes on.
Yes, it will probably be harder for you because you will be staying home living your normal life while your girlfriend is off on a big adventure.
You can’t control what happens during this time, but you can both talk about what you hope for the future as well as what might happen in the next 12 months. Put everything on the table, including how often you hope to communicate and whether you’ll be dating other people. Discuss all of this so you have a sense of where you both stand.
It would also be good for you to take up a new hobby, tackle a big project at work, or fill your time with something you can focus on rather than obsess over.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative dedicated to helping people access and make their dreams come true. Questions can be directed to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
