Ah, the holidays: a time for love, joy and… divorce lawyers on speed dial.
Yes, my friends, ’tis the season to have fun – until it isn’t.
While everyone is unwrapping their presents, some couples will be unwrapping their prenups, ready to go their separate ways faster than you can say, “New year, new me.”
Seriously. For all the questions we singles face at Christmas – like: “When are you going to meet a man?” Or “Aren’t you worried about your fertility clock ticking?” » Or “When are you going to settle down?” – it turns out it’s not us who’s in trouble.
It is Youmany married!
Welcome to the proverbial divorce season – December through January – where the fairy lights may still shine, but many relationships burn out faster than those questionable fairy lights your husband bought at the two-dollar store because he’s a cheap bastard. (Add that to the list of reasons you are about to give to your lawyer.)
Divorce lawyer offices tend to be packed after January 1 for the same reasons your local gym is suddenly more crowded: people are looking to lose a few extra pounds, sometimes around 200 in the form of a diet. -be-ex-spouse. After the “holiday ceasefire” in marital hostilities ends, people are ready to get upset and look to change their lives.
Why is it such a hotbed of sorrow?
To find out, I turned to prominent New York divorce attorney James Sexton. You may recognize him from the billions of viral clips circulating on social media, showcasing his now-infamous view of why people shouldn’t get married.
For those who need a reminder, here’s what he said:
“If you analyze that, basically 56% of marriages end in divorce – those are just the couples who go through the costly, time-consuming and emotionally devastating process of divorce. What about all the other married people who stay together “for the kids” or because they don’t want to give away half their stuff?
Sexton then believes that it is “20% at least.”
He adds: “You now have technology that fails 76% of the time. It’s crazy. If I told you there was a 76% chance that when you walked in the door today you would be hit in the head with a bowling ball, you wouldn’t go out or you would wear a helmet.
I know… it’s iconic.
So who better to ask why December and January are the peak months for married couples – and how they can fix it before heading to D-town (it’s divorce town for starters) – than someone ‘one who handles these kinds of conversations. every day?
Full disclosure: I asked him for a drink to discuss this very important topic because I’m a shameless flirt and he’s ridiculously hot. But I should also mention that he is incredibly intelligent, presented all the facts and, alas, did not fall for my seduction techniques.
Note to self: work on seduction techniques.
Here are eight reasons why people come to his office seeking divorce – and what to do about it.
1. “Complacency kills”
“People get comfortable and comfort becomes complacency,” Sexton says. “You stop doing the little things that made your partner feel special in the first place.”
According to Sexton, relationships are like gardens: you have to take care of them. A simple “I made you coffee” or “Let me take care of dinner tonight” can go a long way.
2. “Sex is the glue”
“Sex is what separates a romantic relationship from any other type of relationship,” says Sexton. “Couples who stop prioritizing intimacy often feel like roommates.”
He advises making time for physical connection, even if it doesn’t seem sexy, because “desire thrives on effort.”
3. “Child-centered marriages are falling apart”
“Your children will leave one day. What’s left after that? » asks Sexton. He emphasizes that prioritizing your partnership strengthens the entire family, adding: “Happy parents make happy children. »
4. “The Social Media Trap”
“We exercise our relationships instead of living them,” Sexton warns. The constant pressure to look perfect online leads to disconnection.
His advice? “Put down the phone, look your partner in the eye and ask them how their day was. »
5. “Little things add up”
Sexton describes how small annoyances can snowball if left unchecked: “It’s never about big things; it’s the toothpaste cap, the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink.
The solution? Open and caring communication: “Say what you feel before resentment takes root. »
6. “Cheating as a symptom, not a cause”
“Cheating is not the problem; it’s a symptom of deeper problems,” says Sexton.
He recommends couples view infidelity as a signal to address unmet needs and improve communication before things escalate.
7. “Loss of identity”
“When you lose yourself in a relationship, you lose the attraction that brought you together in the first place,” says Sexton.
He emphasizes the importance of maintaining hobbies, friendships and self-esteem: “You can’t pour from an empty cup. »
8. “Avoid premarital discussions”
“People think a prenup isn’t romantic, but it’s actually the opposite,” says Sexton. “It means, ‘I trust you enough to talk about difficult things before it becomes a problem.’ »
There you go, friends. Straight from the mouth of New York’s best divorce lawyer.
Seriously, we should pay top dollar for this advice. All it cost me was a martini and a few cheeky jokes.
You are welcome.
Maybe this divorce season, instead of ending relationships, we could start repairing them — one cup of tea, one deep conversation, and an unplugged evening at a time.
Ho ho ho, now fuck off, it’s cheaper than a lawyer.
