DEAR ABBY: A friend’s daughter is getting married and sent an announcement email with a link to watch a live stream of the ceremony. I’ve never been asked NOT to attend an event before, and frankly, I’m hurt. (My husband was an incredible artist. Should I send a live stream of other people enjoying his work in person?)
Does etiquette require me to send a wedding gift? I would understand not to be invited if it were a confidential matter, but inviting a widow to witness a friend’s emotional and romantic moment in the solitude of her home seems cruel to me. Am I out of step with what is socially acceptable? — I’M NOT GOING TO TEXAS
DEAR I WILL NOT LEAVE: If the wedding is taking place some distance from your home, the invitation to live stream was probably an attempt to show consideration. Many important events are live streamed these days, including funerals and memorials. If you find watching the ceremony depressing and would rather not “tune in,” don’t. And no, you won’t. required to send a gift. (A nice e-card congratulating the couple would be a nice gesture.)
DEAR ABBY: My brother is married to a very nice woman. This is their second marriage and they both work, although they are not very good at managing their money. They have traveled to family events and ended up running out of money for meals, car rentals, etc.
My sister-in-law heard about a girls’ trip that my daughters-in-law, a few close friends and I are going on. She invited herself and I don’t know how to politely tell her that she can’t come unless she has the money to pay her share. It would kill me to hurt her feelings. Please advise. — LADY RESPONSIBLE IN THE WEST
DEAR MADAM: Who paid for the food and car rental that this couple couldn’t afford? Were these relatives reimbursed? Unless you want to foot the bill for your sister-in-law’s trip (which she invited herself on), you’ll have to find the courage to tell her that you’re not doing it under any circumstances. If she’s hurt when you tell her the obvious (that you’re not an easy person to deal with), so be it.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 79 year old woman. I have had a friend since high school who is five months younger than me. A few weeks, sometimes months, before my birthday, she makes comments about how she is several months younger than me. These comments range from sarcasm to outright meanness.
I think she thinks she’s smart, but after so many years, it’s not funny anymore. When she makes a comment this year about my BIG birthday, what could my response be, in essence, tell her to stop? — SAME AGE IN FLORIDA
DEAR SAME AGE: How about this, said with a smile of course: “Oh, honey, age is just a number. My birthday may come before yours, but you are RIGHT behind me. I try the number before you get there. At this point, I consider every day a blessing and you should too.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
