Dear Eric:I am an elderly woman with health issues. I belong to a homeowners association and pay monthly dues, from which lawn maintenance fees are automatically deducted.
The company employees refuse to maintain my lawn. I called the owner of the company and he said he had “informed all his employees to stay off my property.” This started last year when I complained about his employees cutting my flowers.
My neighbors complain about my lawn and I can’t get any help maintaining it from the lawn care company I automatically pay each month.
I contacted the president of the homeowners association, who referred me to the property manager, who did not resolve the issue with the lawn care company.
I am on a fixed income and cannot afford to hire another lawn care company, especially when I have already paid for the services of the current company. I also cannot afford to hire an attorney.
I was advised not to file a complaint with the Consumer Protection Agency or the Better Business Bureau because then the lawn care company will “do nothing” for me. They also have the contract to remove the snow, and if they refuse to do so, it could have deadly consequences.
What can I do?
– Obstacle overgrown with vegetation
Dear Overgrown: First, talk to your neighbors and ask them for help. If they complain about the state of your lawn, explain your situation to them and ask for their advice. Ask them to represent your interests with the homeowners association.
(This can also be an opportunity for a kind neighbor to volunteer to simply mow the lawn themselves. I’m not sure if that would be part of my journey, but some people really enjoy mowing the lawn.)
I would give up trying to reason with the lawn care company. It is unclear why the owner of the company would take such an extreme position. I would have liked to know more about how your disagreement began and escalated. But even if there is more to this story, his contract is with the homeowners association. And the homeowners association, in turn, has a contract with you.
You should also request a meeting with the full board of directors. Familiarize yourself with the governance documents and the documents relating to covenants, conditions and restrictions.
Try to have a respectful but productive conversation, keeping in mind that the board is made up of volunteers. Tell them you are afraid of retaliation and ask for their help. Explain that this puts you and them at risk. Ask them how they plan to address this and what their timeline is.
Dear Eric: Please help me resolve a disagreement with my wife.
One day, a friend of ours, “Ed,” confided in us something very sensitive and embarrassing and asked for our advice. He also asked us not to tell anyone about it and, of course, we were both sworn to secrecy.
A week later, one of my wife’s oldest and closest friends (a “BFF”) came to visit and my wife began to tell him about Ed’s predicament.
Later, when we were alone, I asked my wife why she broke her promise to keep it a secret. She replied, “I didn’t! My best friends and I tell each other everything and we keep it all to ourselves, so no one will ever hear about it.”
Although BFF and Ed don’t know each other, all six BFFs and Ed know each other by name and there is a slight chance that their paths will cross at some point.
When I asked her if we should go back and ask Ed if he could share his situation with his best friends, she got angry and said there was no reason to upset him. I then thanked her for validating my point of view. What do you say?
– Keeper of the secret
Dear Guardian: Far be it from me to venture into the murky waters of marital conflict resolution, but it’s clear and simple. So, I put on my Crocs and I’m going for it.
When you swear not to reveal any information to anyone, there isn’t a lot of fine print. Do many, if not all, of us bend the rules a bit when it comes to our spouses and significant others? Yes, but I can’t imagine Ed meant “don’t tell anyone except your five best friends who I don’t know but who I’ve been assured are good secret keepers.”
There is a difference between a story intended for public consumption and a personal revelation shared in confidence.
Your wife took advantage of Ed’s difficult situation and turned it into gossip. While nothing bad comes from the best friends knowing, she betrayed the trust he had placed in her.
She seems sure of her choice, alas, so I have no advice to give her.
But Ed, if you’re reading this, you’d better choose more trustworthy confidants.
Send your questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
