DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I haven’t spoken in a few months and I’m truly heartbroken.
We have always been close, but an argument drove us apart. The fight started because she feels like I never let her finish talking when we have conversations.
I admit that I can get excited or passionate when we talk, and sometimes I interrupt without realizing it. I never wanted to hurt him.
It seems like this has been bothering her for a long time, and now it has driven a wedge between us.
I thought the holidays would be the perfect time to work things out. I hoped that spending time as a family would smooth things over between us and give us a chance to talk.
I tried to approach her and let her know that I wanted to make amends, but she didn’t seem open to that. She was polite but distant, and it was clear she wasn’t ready to reconcile.
I don’t want to keep pushing and risk making things worse, but I also don’t want to give up on our relationship. How can I show him that I’m willing to listen and change without putting pressure on him?
— Sister in exile
DEAR SISTER IN EXILE: You may just have to give your sister some time.
If you’ve dismissed her and cut her off for an extended period of time, she has every right to doubt that you can or will change.
Consider writing him a letter and expressing your remorse. Tell her how much you miss her and that you want to make amends. Admit that you know you can be careless when it comes to communicating respectfully with her and that you are deeply sorry for that. Promise to make a concerted effort to listen more actively and give him space to talk.
Ask him for forgiveness, then wait.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently rekindled my passion for knitting, something I loved as a child thanks to my grandmother.
I took up this activity again to relax, but I’m having trouble finishing my first project. I keep making mistakes and end up undoing my work repeatedly, which is so discouraging.
While I enjoy the idea of creating handmade items, the slow progress makes me wonder if I’m cut out for this hobby. I want to improve my skills and be proud of my creations, but perfectionism still holds me back.
I need to find a way to embrace the process and learn from my mistakes while still finding joy in knitting.
— Knitting challenges
DEAR KNITTING CHALLENGES: Don’t give up. Knitting is meant to be meditative and calming, and it can be – once you get into the groove.
Yes, you have to learn first. Go online and find knitting tutorials you can follow to perfect the stitches. You might find the audiobook “Knitting for Beginners” by Nancy Gordon helpful.
Find a local yarn store and see if they offer classes. Some stores have knitting tables where customers come to bond while they knit — and they often help each other along the way.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative aimed at helping people access and achieve their dreams. You can send questions to Askharriette@harriettecole.com or to Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
