DEAR HARRIETTE:I’m a husband looking for advice. My wife has started a practice she calls “fridgescaping,” which is currently a viral trend on TikTok, where she decorates the inside of our refrigerator to make it look prettier.
While I appreciate his creativity, I find it too extravagant and impractical. I often have to move vases and flowers to get to the food.
When I expressed my concerns to her, she immediately deleted everything without discussion. Since then, she has been distant and uncommunicative.
How can I approach this issue with her when she shuts down her communication and gives me the cold shoulder? I didn’t know it would be such a big problem.
— Refrigerator layout
DEAR FRIDGESCAPING:It’s clear that you hurt your wife’s feelings, even if it wasn’t intentional.
She found a certain joy in participating in this trend, and you brought a practical concern that probably made her feel like cold water was being thrown in her face.
Tell your wife you want to talk to her. Apologize for hurting her feelings. Tell her you didn’t realize how much it would upset her if you told her something about her current passion for decorating the refrigerator. Of course you want her to be happy.
Maybe there’s a compromise you can find so she can continue decorating and you can still find things.
Make sure she knows that your intention wasn’t to make her feel bad – you just wanted to be able to find something you wanted to eat.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 20 years old and I’m currently dating someone who is 16 years older than me.
Although we have a strong bond, we face challenges due to our age difference.
My partner’s parents, who are more traditional, have made it clear through their disapproving looks and subtle comments that they don’t value our relationship.
I want to make a good impression and have a positive relationship with them. How can I build a better connection with them? Any advice on how to convince them would be greatly appreciated.
— Age difference
DEAR AGE GAP: As the mother of a 20-year-old daughter, I have to say that I completely understand the concerns your partner’s parents (and probably others) have about your relationship.
I also understand that you feel like you’ve met someone who could be your partner and want to explore that.
My best advice is to slow down. A lasting relationship is built on shared interests, intellectual connection, compatible values, interdependent goals, mutual respect, and physical attraction. Be careful about what you share. How new and lasting is the relationship? What do you want from the relationship?
I know 20-year-olds can be mature, but through your eyes today, what do you want for your life and how could your partner fit into your vision? What does he want?
Your partner’s parents’ opinion of your relationship may soften over time if you both demonstrate that your commitment is real and can stand the test of time. Be patient and attentive.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative dedicated to helping people access and make their dreams come true. Questions can be directed to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
