For Katherine Schiefer, whose son Owen was born five months ago, motherhood the second time around has been dramatically different.
The 35-year-old lawyer was recently diagnosed with postpartum depression after her husband, John, encouraged her to get help for her suicidal thoughts.
“I thought in the middle of the night, I don’t want to be here. And when I say don’t be here, I mean on this earth,” said Schiefer, who still gets emotional recalling the symptoms. “I know my children need me, I love them and I want to be there for them, so having such thoughts was alarming.”
One in eight new mothers in the United States suffer from postpartum depression, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Three quarters of them are neither diagnosed nor treated.
“I think it’s destigmatizing to know that we not only have to feel one sense of joy, but that becoming a parent can also bring a lot of grief and loss for a life that you had,” said Dr. Sarah Oreck , a reproductive psychiatrist.
Oreck says most insurance policies fall far short of meeting the demand for mothers needing mental help.
“Reimbursement for mental health care in this country is abysmal, to the point where most people are working out of network,” Oreck said.
Just ask Dalindra Buys, new mom and former social worker.
“There are so many moms who could use so many different services, but they can’t because they can’t afford them,” Buys said.
After Buys was diagnosed with postpartum depression, she wanted to visit the Fourth Tri Sanctuary outside Detroit — where doulas care for babies so moms can take a shower or nap — but she couldn’t afford it. The founders rely on donations to provide free care to certain women, like Buys.
Schiefer also comes to Fourth Tri with her baby, but she pays out of pocket and it’s expensive.
There are also yoga classes, lactation consultants and mental health support groups, bringing a new dimension to postpartum care.
It’s a much-needed relief for shopping. She and her husband Eric turned to in vitro fertilization after struggling with infertility. Their son, Cassius, was born prematurely at 26 weeks and weighed only two and a half pounds.
“The guilt has been and remains the hardest thing,” Buys said.
“Other moms have come up to me and whispered that it gets better,” Schiefer said.
With each conversation, these whispers become louder, silencing the stigma and shame associated with postpartum depression.
Nikki Battiste
