“She made the most of her life in Naperville” – Chicago Tribune

Hilary Decent, who wrote for the Naperville Sun as both a reporter and columnist for more than 15 years, died early Tuesday after a short battle with cancer. She was 67 years old.

Decent’s health problem began a little more than two months ago, according to her husband, Ross. It started with back pain and headaches, a condition she wrote about in her latest column for the Sun published on August 30. When difficulties continued to persist, the couple decided it was time to head to hospital, he said, speaking to The Sun on Wednesday. .

He was eventually diagnosed with brain and spinal cancer. According to his family, Decent suffered from leptomeningeal disease, a rare metastatic complication of advanced cancer.

Arrangements are being made for Decent to be buried in England, where she was originally from and lived before moving to Naperville. His family is planning a funeral in London next week. When Ross returns from England, he plans to hold similar memorial and religious services locally so that “friends here will have the opportunity to walk with us,” he said.

Hilary and Ross had lived in Naperville for 17 years. Although, to Sun readers, Decent may be known for its engaging and personal Sunday columns, its reach and impact on the city far exceeded its published works.

She was a longtime member of the Rotary Club of Naperville, an involved member of Congregation Beth Shalom and an avid supporter of local arts. In addition to the Sun, she freelanced for Naperville magazine and produced a show for NCTV17.

“(She) knew everyone, and everyone knew her,” Ross said.

The couple are from Wembley, a London suburb known for being home to England’s national football stadium. They met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, he said.

Ever since she was little, Decent loved writing, her daughter Abi Jane Davis said Wednesday.

“She said at school she couldn’t do anything — she wasn’t athletic, none of that,” Davis said. “The only thing she knew she could do and was told she was good at was writing. … She won a writing competition (when she was young) and from there she knew that was all she wanted to do.

After college, Decent pursued a journalism career in England, Ross said. She then worked as an English as a Second Language tutor. It was the last job she held in England before she and Ross moved to Naperville.

Long before moving to the United States, they had long had it in their minds that they would one day move abroad, Ross said. When they married 43 years ago, they honeymooned in Los Angeles.

Decent wrote about his trip – his first to the United States – in a column earlier this spring. She wrote that she went to IHOP to have her first American breakfast and ordered the most American thing she could think of: a stack of pancakes.

It was Ross’ career with a U.S. software company, which had a development center in Lisle, that eventually brought the two men to Naperville, he said.

From day one, Decent immersed itself in the community, Ross said. It began when she joined the Rotary Club of Naperville, an organization in which she actively served from her first months in town until this year.

“I will always remember her being very active and involved,” said Alma Jones, former club president and current board member. She met Decent while volunteering with the club. “She was willing to say yes to almost anything and find a way to put a very special spin on the things she was working on,” she said.

Jones said Decent’s absence from Rotary “can’t be filled by anyone.”

His legacy will be just as positive and lasting on Congregation Beth Shalom, said longtime member Vicki Robinson. Their friendship grew over time, Robinson said.

They first became acquainted through a weekly bowling group organized by the congregation, she recalled. Over the years, she, Decent, and their husbands spent a lot of time together, going out to dinner, playing cards, or traveling together.

“She wasn’t the loud, showy type,” Robinson said. “You know, some people leave their mark because you can’t not notice them. But for Hilary, I think hers was created through her talent, creativity and being a supportive friend.

His understated sense of creativity, in particular, is a throughline in Decent’s life that has never wavered. When she and Ross moved to Naperville, she decided she was “going to have the lifestyle she wanted, and that lifestyle was being a journalist,” Ross said.

It didn’t take long for him to land a writing job in town. Decent worked as a freelance reporter for the Sun from 2007 to 2011. At the same time, she also wrote and produced a cable show that aired on NCTV17 — Naperville’s local nonprofit television station — in the early 2010s.

The show was called “The Ladies Room.” It focused primarily on what was happening in and around Naperville that was of particular interest to women, according to David Sapadin, who co-produced the show with Decent.

In an email Wednesday, Sapadin said Decent was “great to work with.”

“She had a wonderful sense of humor, which came out quickly in most conversations,” he said. “Sometimes hilarious, sometimes dry, but his humor was always turning.”

Decent’s battle with cancer has “been difficult and has challenged a lot of people trying to visualize Naperville without her,” he said. “She made the most of her life in Naperville.”

In 2015, Decent began freelancing for Naperville magazine and in 2017 she returned to The Sun as a columnist.

In his seven years of writing opinion pieces, Decent wrote about anything and everything. She highlighted local personal stories, from a column about families on the front lines during the COVID-19 pandemic to an article about a young Naperville actress making her professional stage debut.

Decent’s columns were also often drawn from his own life. She affectionately called Ross “Grumpy.” She wrote about the joy of watching a musical for the first time post-pandemic. She wrote about the kinds of books she read and her thoughts and feelings about the royal family. She wrote about becoming an American citizen.

“She never missed a column,” said Karen Sorensen, editor of the Naperville Sun. “If she was going on vacation, she wrote to him one or two hours in advance. She was always worried that something might stop a column from working, so she kept one in her back pocket, just in case.

Beyond that, “what I think everyone will really miss is how much she loved Naperville,” Sorensen said. “I think she came here with the idea of ​​starting a great adventure, and she embraced every aspect of it.”

Decent’s propensity to dive headfirst into everything she did led her to her newest passion project: rallying to bring a burgeoning art school to life in Naperville.

For the past two years, Decent has served on the advisory board of the Illinois Conservatory of the Arts, a private performing and visual arts school expected to open in the city next year.

She first discovered this adventure through her role as a columnist at The Sun. She had intended to write about the school, but she quickly embraced the idea as a journalist: She wanted to help, according to Dylan Ladd, the conservatory’s co-founder and executive director.

Shortly after first contacting Decent, Ladd remembered calling and asking how she could get involved with the conservatory. Decent became one of the first people to join their advisory board, Ladd said.

“That’s when I learned what a big supporter of the arts she was,” he said.

Along with writing, Decent always loved theater, especially musical theater, his family said. When asked about some of his favorite shows, Ross named a few: “The Music Man,” “Chicago,” “Company.”

Early on, Ladd recognized Decent’s love of the arts. And this passion, he says, has helped move the conservatory forward.

“I think his enthusiasm for what we were doing was a driving force in why we were able to continue as an organization,” Ladd said, “and why we are where we are today.”

Decent’s family asks that anyone wishing to honor him do so by making a donation to the Illinois Conservatory of the Arts.

tkenny@chicagotribune.com