Suella Braverman shows her slightly softer side on LBC radio | LBC

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It is fair to say that most listeners who tuned in to LBC at 10am on Tuesday morning must have been shocked. Regular presenter James O’Brien was on holiday and in his place was Suella Braverman. From the beating heart of liberal Britain to the right-wing whistle of the Conservative Party. And no one seemed more surprised than Suella herself. “James must be having a heart attack,” she said nervously at the start.

Or maybe not. Because the Suella we got was very different from the one we’re used to. I mean, she was obviously wrong about most things—you wouldn’t expect anything else—but this was a much gentler Suella. Less loud, less combative, less obnoxious. Someone who not only made an effort to appear interested in what listeners had to say, but who sometimes met them halfway. A Suella who has gone unnoticed for the past eight years.

It got you thinking. Who is the real Suella? The one who can fight in an empty room. The one who is never happier than when she is marginalizing the most vulnerable groups in society. Or was it all just a set-up? A performance meant to sow division. Was there always a caring Suella buried inside her? Or is she completely lost to herself? A politician without empathy. Someone who is content to give her audience what she thinks they want.

The first hour was devoted to illegal immigration, a subject Braverman considers her speciality. She began by apologising. The Conservatives had failed to stop the boats. But that was Rishi Sunak’s fault. She had tried to implement the Rwanda plan but had been thwarted at every turn. Her only motivation was compassion. Her desire to find a better life for people fleeing persecution. As long as that better place was not the UK.

Awad, from Barnet, pointed out that Rwanda was not quite the safe country Suella was trying to make it out to be. Rwanda had sent death squads to the Congo. International courts had also said Rwanda was not a safe country. That was it, said the new Suella, as someone in the studio held up a sign that read, “Try not to insult the public.” But on the other hand, she had heard of someone who had moved to Rwanda a few years ago and opened a mini-market. So, all things considered, Rwanda was probably a safe country. Thanks and goodbye, Awad.

Next in line was Gerald from Whitley Bay. He couldn’t believe his eyes because James was gone for the week and wasted no time in telling Suella she was right. Just send all the asylum seekers back to France. Brilliant idea, Suella agreed. She couldn’t understand why so many EU countries were making life harder in the UK after we voted for Brexit. After all, Brexit was supposed to help us take back control. But no one told the EU.

Others pointed out that Suella had always known that the Rwanda plan was an impractical ploy and that leaving the European Convention on Human Rights would make us an international pariah. Braverman thanked them warmly for their contributions and pointed out that illegal immigration was a much more complex problem than many people realise. No joke. Suella included. She also insisted that it was perfectly normal to have an opinion on something even if you don’t know what you’re talking about. That was her mantra as interior minister, after all.

For the second hour, Braverman wanted to talk about the American presidential election. Having just returned from the National Conservatism’s “alt-right” conference in Washington a few weeks ago, she now considers herself a world expert on American politics.

“Let me start the movement,” she said. “If I were an American, I would vote for Donald Trump.” Kamala Harris was nothing but a dangerous and ineffectual leftist while Donald Trump could be assured of ending all wars in an instant. It was as if Suella had just swallowed a stupid pill and was simply repeating what Trump had said at the Republican convention.

Unsurprisingly, almost no one agreed with Braverman. The counterarguments were made one by one. What about the fact that Trump was a proven liar and a sexual assaulter? What about the fact that he had been convicted on 34 counts? What about the fact that he had incited the Capitol riot by claiming the election had been rigged? What about his support for Putin?

“Oh yeah,” Suella replied. “There was all that. But really, the election was about forgetting all the bad stuff and focusing only on the fact that Donald Trump was basically the perfect role model. At the very least, he could be trusted to do nothing about the climate crisis. I guess that’s what makes the difference.

Moving on. We ended with a conversation about the future direction of the Conservative Party. Suella seems to have undergone a personality change. Just Monday, she was shouting from the rooftops about not sending the Conservatives into the dead end of “One Nation fanatics”. Now, her language was much more moderate. So much so that she didn’t think to mention that she planned to run for the party leadership herself. Or maybe someone talked to her.

Suella began by making her own diagnosis of the problem. The Tories had moved too far from the centre, she said. The idea that after 14 years of steadily worsening fortunes the country might have had enough had not occurred to her. Or that people might not be so forgiving of Boris Johnson’s lies and parties or Liz Truss’s kamikaze budget. It was the selective memory of a fool. The rightward shift of Reform. Or, as Braverman would say, the shift to the middle ground.

Then the surprise. “I believe in compassion and fairness,” she told a trans caller. “Live and let live. Everyone deserves to feel safe.” Words no one had ever heard her say before. She sounded like someone who cared. Close your eyes and she could have been James O’Brien himself. A dues-paying member of the Wokerati. Rachel didn’t believe her. “You’re just an alarmist,” she said. Suella didn’t give up. “Are you getting the support you need?”

That left just enough time for a few callers to say that the Conservatives were dead and should merge with the Reform Party, before Ross called to ask where old Conservatives like him, who believed in international law and kindness to people, were supposed to go. Suella shrugged. The Liberal Democrats, maybe.