DEAR HARRIETTE:My family came to visit me this summer for the first time in many years. We had a great time together, but I’m afraid it won’t happen again.
It was expensive for everyone to come to my summer community — it was a big group, so they had to rent a house.
I enjoy spending time with my family and want to find a way to make getting together more often easier.
My sister can afford to rent the house, but it’s a lot to ask of her to do so.
Do you have any ideas for bringing people together?
— Family reunion
DEAR FAMILY REUNION: Why don’t you start by talking to your sister?
Thank her for bringing her family to spend time with you. Highlight the highlights of your visit that made you all happy. Ask her if she thinks they can come back or if you should all consider other places to get together.
Invite her to participate in the decision-making process. She may not care about the cost. On the other hand, she may have ideas about other activities you could do to vary the experience and have less of a financial impact. Talk about it.
DEAR HARRIETTE:I have a big presentation at work next week that I’m nervous about.
Public speaking is not my strong point because I stumble over my words. My palms are often sweaty, my heart races, and I have trouble maintaining eye contact with the audience.
I’ve gotten to the point where I dread any situation that requires me to speak in front of a group.
This presentation is particularly important because it could have an impact on my career development and I really want to make a good impression.
I’ve tried practicing in front of a mirror and even in front of my family, but the anxiety doesn’t seem to go away. I’m afraid my nervousness will show and I’ll forget everything I’ve prepared.
Do you have any tips or strategies that could help me overcome this fear and deliver a successful presentation?
— Stage fright
DEAR FRIGHT: Consider changing your attitude toward this presentation. It’s not about you, it’s about the work.
You’ve been invited to make a presentation that will benefit your business in a specific way. Align your thinking with your goal: to successfully develop and share a plan that will serve a client or your team. To be successful, you need to: serve the moment.
Looking through the service window can dispel anxiety and help you refocus on the task at hand. Yes, you need to keep practicing in front of the mirror so you can make the talking points your own, but ultimately, your job is to convey the points clearly and enthusiastically so that others understand and appreciate their value.
Breathe. Always know that you are talking to people who are like you. Remember: you are providing a service.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative dedicated to helping people access and make their dreams come true. Questions can be directed to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
